

The Elite
The Elite below are the brave souls signed up the impossible task of competing for the YoYo tour for 2023
1.
COLIN GIBSON - Our 'Covid-19' Tour champ and 1-time winner! Many tour first introduced in '21 including in house chefs and YouTube music quizzes. I nicer man from up North up North you could never meet. With his real estate portfolio in St Andrews and a panache for the Middle East - will he have had time to mount a charge for the podium again?
3.
DAVID HOLT -Esteemed pantheon member and long-time low handicapper - will the imbalance of power f*** his week up? Perhaps being released from the shackles of Deep Rough will bring with it the ability to sustain a week-long performance or have all those poor last rounds being 'handicap-management?' Always a threat when a chafe is on and sudocrem is out, he is Davie, the darling, Dipper!
5.
STEVE HOLT - As the self confessed "Long ARM" of the tour and fastest ascender to the lofty heights of the pantheon (yes another Holt!) will his new membership at Walton Heath have honed his skills for high flying, quickstopping, target golf. Always a threat and managing to maintain a healthy 'premium' on his official handicap, this sly-eyed tour member is a good horse on a fast track.
7.
ANDREW GRAHAM - Our one and only, 100% pure SUMO. Has a more gentle giant roamed the fairways of the Tour than this popular, already-1 time winner. Don't be lulled into a false sense of security though as he is a fierce competitor, with an Island-Level Hockey playing and coaching career behind him - he has BMT. After a few years in the wilderness, will this year's warm weather allow him to rise to the top?
9.
IAIN MACMILLAN - Another 3-time winner and pantheon member of the tour. Already earmarked for a few 'average' rounds as he fends of work commitments (must be a continental tour!) . The last 3 years have seen a return to form for this 'fun-loving', wine-picking, restaurant fussing member of the tour - but can he make that last press ad sustain a charge for the top!
11.
GRAHAM RABEY - Our CHAMP, '22 Tour CEO, and new pantheon member ad 3 times winner -although I guess that's what happens when you start tour on almost 3x your official handicap! With a runaway victory in '21, can Buggy-Ramping-Rabs keep himself grounded and in the moment and out of minger! One thing is for sure, Rabs has found out the support of the tour with the use of his Exec Committee
2.
SUNDEEP KAPILA - the one, the only, 'Picolo Tigre' and true-handicap golfer. With the swagger of a numb perineum and the gentle flick of a his 'quiff', this soldier of the fairways slaps happily along and has a real love for continental golf. A 2-time winner and regular podium mounter -does he have the potential to achieve Pantheon greatness?
4.
JIM GILLIGAN - Definitely the softer and more gentle of the GGB double-bubble-trouble. With is 2 bags of toiletries and self-wheeling golf luggage will be he packed and ready to go for a second win (and get a half on his GGB 'partner')? Expect a new take-away and some dizzy threads, this fine young bachelor (sort of) is sure to be aiming for the flag!
6.
JOHN ROCHE - as his fantastic career enters its twilight, and with a serious renewed vigour for the game, can he bring the long-time swing changes into the perfect phased alignment with a full moon and claim an infamous victory? With a panache for spending on golf sprees (and on the left side of the course), will his risk aversion weighed upon him from work be relegated to the back of his mind as he walks the hallowed fairways of classic tours gone by?
8.
PAUL FRANEK - Journey-man Tour member, avid karaoke fan and long-time Reckoner, our Dr. Evil serves as this year's only Tour Member without a 'Star' to his name. Can this athlete of the ages overcome his fear of the spotlight and finish the week in the revered Yellow of the Tour! With a tour back to those of the golden-days - will this year see him see off his competition in the evenings and on the course using is long-staying ability?
10.
ROLAND MILLS - On paper, perhaps the most consistent member on tour in handicap and relative performance, as far as longevity to wins however, he is now proving to be a laggard! Low round record holder and regular Birdie-King table topper, can this internationally capped 'golfer' on tour find his mojo and overcome the responsibilities and distractions of DeepRough 2.0 to gain that elusive solo second win.
12.
MARK BEZANT - The lonely voice of fables and reason is our man, and honourable tour chairman. Another Pantheon member for the ages, can the oldest man on tour cut it off the regular tees with a return to a part of the world where he has pulled it off before ;-). The warmth is sure to make a difference, but how - who knows. All we know is he is the Great Lord Beezer!